Post by Teddy Bear on Sept 9, 2014 15:22:26 GMT
From Raheem Kassam at Breitbart
MEDIA BIAS: THIS MAY BE THE BEST JOKE I’VE HEARD ALL YEAR…
Here’s one I like better though
MEDIA BIAS: THIS MAY BE THE BEST JOKE I’VE HEARD ALL YEAR…
A CNN Reporter, BBC Reporter, and an Israeli commando were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
The CNN Reporter said, ‘Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “Now, I can die.”
The BBC Reporter said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The terror leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, ‘Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”
The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?”
“Kick me in the ass,” said the soldier.
“What?’ asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”
“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Israeli. So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the ass.
The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”
“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?”
The CNN Reporter said, ‘Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “Now, I can die.”
The BBC Reporter said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The terror leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, ‘Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”
The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?”
“Kick me in the ass,” said the soldier.
“What?’ asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”
“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Israeli. So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the ass.
The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”
“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?”
Here’s one I like better though
A guy in London saw a pit bull attacking a toddler.
He killed the pit bull and saved the child’s life.
Reporters from the BBC swarmed the fellow.
“Tell us! What’s your name? All London will love you! Tomorrow’s headline will be: “London Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!”
The guy says, “But I’m not from London.
“Reporters: “That’s OK. Then the whole of England will love you and
tomorrow’s headline will read: ‘English Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!’”
The guy says, “I’m not from England, either.”
Reporters: “That’s OK also. All Europe will love you. Tomorrow’s
headlines will shout: ‘European Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!’”
The guy says, “I’m not from Europe, either.
“Reporters: “So, where ARE you from?
The guy says, “I’m from Israel.
“Reporters: “OK. Then tomorrow’s headlines will proclaim to the world:
‘Israeli Kills Girl’s Dog!’”
He killed the pit bull and saved the child’s life.
Reporters from the BBC swarmed the fellow.
“Tell us! What’s your name? All London will love you! Tomorrow’s headline will be: “London Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!”
The guy says, “But I’m not from London.
“Reporters: “That’s OK. Then the whole of England will love you and
tomorrow’s headline will read: ‘English Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!’”
The guy says, “I’m not from England, either.”
Reporters: “That’s OK also. All Europe will love you. Tomorrow’s
headlines will shout: ‘European Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!’”
The guy says, “I’m not from Europe, either.
“Reporters: “So, where ARE you from?
The guy says, “I’m from Israel.
“Reporters: “OK. Then tomorrow’s headlines will proclaim to the world:
‘Israeli Kills Girl’s Dog!’”