Post by Teddy Bear on Dec 9, 2014 16:28:31 GMT
Richard Littlejohn at the Mail presents what he sees as the ideal schedule the BBC would love to have this Christmas.
Though tongue in cheek, I doubt that he's far off the truth.
Though tongue in cheek, I doubt that he's far off the truth.
RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: So the BBC denies it has a Left-wing bias? Just take a look at this austerity-laden Christmas schedule...
By Richard Littlejohn for the Daily Mail
Chancellor George Osborne has accused the BBC of institutionalised Left-wing bias, something which Ukip also complains about. The BBC denies the charge. So who’s right? Judge for yourself. Here are the highlights of this year’s Christmas schedule...
SATURDAY
The Road To Wigan Pier
7pm BBC2 ★★★★
How the Conservatives plan to take Britain back to the 1930s, scrap all welfare benefits, abolish the NHS, reintroduce rickets, scurvy and TB, and force children to work up chimneys. Presented by Norman Smith.
The Great British Bake Off
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
Guardian food columnist Jack Monroe and Frankie Goes To Hollywood are the judges as poverty-stricken contestants attempt to bake a tasty Christmas cake using scraps of discarded food they have been forced to scavenge from rubbish tips, slag heaps and dustbins because of the savage cuts.
Who Do You Think You Are?
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
This week it’s the turn of Nigel Farage. Genealogists take the Ukip leader back to his European roots, where they prove beyond doubt that he is a direct descendant of both Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler.
SUNDAY
Passport To Pimlico
3pm BBC2 ★★★★
Remake of the classic 1949 Ealing comedy. A coachload of lovable Romanian beggars and pickpockets heads for the City of Westminster, where they set up an independent Roma state in Hyde Park, making an invaluable contribution to London’s rich diversity.
MasterChef: The Celebrities
8pm BBC2 ★★★★
Austerity special. Semi-finalists Justin Welby and Ed Miliband must make a nourishing meal for a family of eight from ingredients costing less than £1, because of the savage cuts. Tonight’s delicious recipe is Kale Pesto Pasta. Presented by Jack Monroe.
Andrew Marr’s Making Of Modern Britain
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
How in 1979 Mrs Thatcher staged a military coup and sent in the SAS to pitchfork babies and burn down miners’ cottages and factories across the North of England, while selling off highly profitable and efficient nationalised industries to billionaire Tory donors.
MONDAY
Bargain Hunt
12.15pm BBC1 ★★★★
A special edition live from North-West London, which highlights the plight of millions of poor people who can’t afford food because of the savage cuts in welfare and so are forced to stab each other to death over cut-price ‘cheap as chips’ televisions in Asda.
Great British Railway Journeys
6.30pm BBC2 ★★★★
Tory-turned-luvvie Michael Portillo reveals how his former Conservative colleagues are wasting billions on the HS2 high-speed rail link — just so that fat-cats from the North of England can travel to London for lunch at The Ivy and still be home in time to eat prawn sandwiches in their executive boxes at Old Trafford.
The Apprentice: You’re Fired
10pm BBC2 ★★★★
Evan Davis reveals that if the Tories win the next election, every apprentice in Britain will be sacked and put on zero-hours contracts, which will force them to rely on food banks. Live from the new £1 billion BBC complex at Prince Albert Docks, Salford.
TUESDAY
Homes Under The Hammer
10am BBC1 ★★★★
Martin Roberts exposes secret Tory plans to sell off every single council house in Britain and evict millions of tenants the day after they win a majority at the next general election.
EastEnders
7.30pm BBC1 ★★★★
Locals stage a riot in protest against tax-evading absentee landlords charging sky-high rents in Hoxton. But it emerges that their leader has a guilty secret and is paying £75,000 a year in rent to a company based in a Virgin Islands tax haven. Guest starring Russell Brand as himself.
BBC One's 2014 Christmas line up
Christmas Question Time
10.30pm BBC1 ★★★★
Another edition of the fair and balanced current affairs show. On the panel tonight: Yvette Cooper, Polly Toynbee, Jack Monroe, George Galloway and token Right-winger Nigel Farage. Live from the ISIS wing of the Islamist Students’ Union at the London School of Oriental and African Studies. Presented by Russell Brand.
CHRISTMAS EVE
BBC2 1pm ★★★★
After the successful guest appearance of Nigel Farage, this week it’s the turn of George Osborne, who arrives in Trumpton to inform the crew that the fire station is being closed because of the savage cuts.
A skeleton staff will be transferred to another location 30 miles away. Pugh, Cuthbert and Dibble will keep their jobs, but Pugh, Barney McGrew and Grubb will be made redundant in time for Christmas.
James Martin’s Food Bank Map Of Britain
3.40pm BBC1 ★★★★
Celebrity chef James gives the location of the best places in Britain to get free food after a hard day spent fighting over a cut-price television in Asda. Also contains advice for the unemployed on where to buy counterfeit cigarettes and booze smuggled from the Continent and China.
Newsnight Christmas
10.30pm BBC2 ★★★★
GUEST presenter Russell Brand interviews Russell Brand about how the savage cuts are inflicting a post-endogenous supercalifragilisticexpialidocious falolloping on Britain’s Parklife. Edited by Russell Brand. Based on an original idea by Professor Stanley Unwin.
CHRISTMAS DAY
Children’s Hospital Festive Special
10.05am BBC2 ★★★★
The staff receive the shattering news that the hospital is to be shut down because of the savage cuts and 80,000 sick children are being condemned to certain death by the heartless Tories.
The Nativity
2pm BBC1 ★★★★
Updating of the traditional biblical story. In this modern re-telling, Tory health secretary Pontius Pilate orders the slaughter of all first-born children of the poor and ethnic minorities, unless they can afford to go private.
Last Of The Summer Whine Christmas Special
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
After their roller-coaster Westminster adventure ends in complete disaster, Cleggy, Compo and the other one return to their constituencies to prepare for oblivion. Starring Nick Clegg as himself and Vince Cable as Compo.
Preparing for oblivion: Vince Cable could easily star as himself in a reprisal of Last of the Summer Whine
+4
Preparing for oblivion: Vince Cable could easily star as himself in a reprisal of Last of the Summer Whine
BOXING DAY
Changing Rooms
7pm BBC2 ★★★★
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen helps a family from Rochdale move into a designer cardboard box under a motorway flyover, after they are evicted from their council house at gunpoint for refusing to pay the hated bedroom tax.
Don’t You Know Who I Am?
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
The popular series in which ghastly Tory snobs David Mellor and Andrew Mitchell travel the country insulting ‘ordinary’ people such as police officers and taxi drivers. With hilarious consequences.
Call The Midwife Christmas Special
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
Unfortunately this episode has been cancelled as a result of the Tories’ callous decision to close down all post- and ante-natal services and privatise the BBC.
By Richard Littlejohn for the Daily Mail
Chancellor George Osborne has accused the BBC of institutionalised Left-wing bias, something which Ukip also complains about. The BBC denies the charge. So who’s right? Judge for yourself. Here are the highlights of this year’s Christmas schedule...
SATURDAY
The Road To Wigan Pier
7pm BBC2 ★★★★
How the Conservatives plan to take Britain back to the 1930s, scrap all welfare benefits, abolish the NHS, reintroduce rickets, scurvy and TB, and force children to work up chimneys. Presented by Norman Smith.
The Great British Bake Off
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
Guardian food columnist Jack Monroe and Frankie Goes To Hollywood are the judges as poverty-stricken contestants attempt to bake a tasty Christmas cake using scraps of discarded food they have been forced to scavenge from rubbish tips, slag heaps and dustbins because of the savage cuts.
Who Do You Think You Are?
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
This week it’s the turn of Nigel Farage. Genealogists take the Ukip leader back to his European roots, where they prove beyond doubt that he is a direct descendant of both Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler.
SUNDAY
Passport To Pimlico
3pm BBC2 ★★★★
Remake of the classic 1949 Ealing comedy. A coachload of lovable Romanian beggars and pickpockets heads for the City of Westminster, where they set up an independent Roma state in Hyde Park, making an invaluable contribution to London’s rich diversity.
MasterChef: The Celebrities
8pm BBC2 ★★★★
Austerity special. Semi-finalists Justin Welby and Ed Miliband must make a nourishing meal for a family of eight from ingredients costing less than £1, because of the savage cuts. Tonight’s delicious recipe is Kale Pesto Pasta. Presented by Jack Monroe.
Andrew Marr’s Making Of Modern Britain
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
How in 1979 Mrs Thatcher staged a military coup and sent in the SAS to pitchfork babies and burn down miners’ cottages and factories across the North of England, while selling off highly profitable and efficient nationalised industries to billionaire Tory donors.
MONDAY
Bargain Hunt
12.15pm BBC1 ★★★★
A special edition live from North-West London, which highlights the plight of millions of poor people who can’t afford food because of the savage cuts in welfare and so are forced to stab each other to death over cut-price ‘cheap as chips’ televisions in Asda.
Great British Railway Journeys
6.30pm BBC2 ★★★★
Tory-turned-luvvie Michael Portillo reveals how his former Conservative colleagues are wasting billions on the HS2 high-speed rail link — just so that fat-cats from the North of England can travel to London for lunch at The Ivy and still be home in time to eat prawn sandwiches in their executive boxes at Old Trafford.
The Apprentice: You’re Fired
10pm BBC2 ★★★★
Evan Davis reveals that if the Tories win the next election, every apprentice in Britain will be sacked and put on zero-hours contracts, which will force them to rely on food banks. Live from the new £1 billion BBC complex at Prince Albert Docks, Salford.
TUESDAY
Homes Under The Hammer
10am BBC1 ★★★★
Martin Roberts exposes secret Tory plans to sell off every single council house in Britain and evict millions of tenants the day after they win a majority at the next general election.
EastEnders
7.30pm BBC1 ★★★★
Locals stage a riot in protest against tax-evading absentee landlords charging sky-high rents in Hoxton. But it emerges that their leader has a guilty secret and is paying £75,000 a year in rent to a company based in a Virgin Islands tax haven. Guest starring Russell Brand as himself.
BBC One's 2014 Christmas line up
Christmas Question Time
10.30pm BBC1 ★★★★
Another edition of the fair and balanced current affairs show. On the panel tonight: Yvette Cooper, Polly Toynbee, Jack Monroe, George Galloway and token Right-winger Nigel Farage. Live from the ISIS wing of the Islamist Students’ Union at the London School of Oriental and African Studies. Presented by Russell Brand.
CHRISTMAS EVE
BBC2 1pm ★★★★
After the successful guest appearance of Nigel Farage, this week it’s the turn of George Osborne, who arrives in Trumpton to inform the crew that the fire station is being closed because of the savage cuts.
A skeleton staff will be transferred to another location 30 miles away. Pugh, Cuthbert and Dibble will keep their jobs, but Pugh, Barney McGrew and Grubb will be made redundant in time for Christmas.
James Martin’s Food Bank Map Of Britain
3.40pm BBC1 ★★★★
Celebrity chef James gives the location of the best places in Britain to get free food after a hard day spent fighting over a cut-price television in Asda. Also contains advice for the unemployed on where to buy counterfeit cigarettes and booze smuggled from the Continent and China.
Newsnight Christmas
10.30pm BBC2 ★★★★
GUEST presenter Russell Brand interviews Russell Brand about how the savage cuts are inflicting a post-endogenous supercalifragilisticexpialidocious falolloping on Britain’s Parklife. Edited by Russell Brand. Based on an original idea by Professor Stanley Unwin.
CHRISTMAS DAY
Children’s Hospital Festive Special
10.05am BBC2 ★★★★
The staff receive the shattering news that the hospital is to be shut down because of the savage cuts and 80,000 sick children are being condemned to certain death by the heartless Tories.
The Nativity
2pm BBC1 ★★★★
Updating of the traditional biblical story. In this modern re-telling, Tory health secretary Pontius Pilate orders the slaughter of all first-born children of the poor and ethnic minorities, unless they can afford to go private.
Last Of The Summer Whine Christmas Special
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
After their roller-coaster Westminster adventure ends in complete disaster, Cleggy, Compo and the other one return to their constituencies to prepare for oblivion. Starring Nick Clegg as himself and Vince Cable as Compo.
Preparing for oblivion: Vince Cable could easily star as himself in a reprisal of Last of the Summer Whine
+4
Preparing for oblivion: Vince Cable could easily star as himself in a reprisal of Last of the Summer Whine
BOXING DAY
Changing Rooms
7pm BBC2 ★★★★
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen helps a family from Rochdale move into a designer cardboard box under a motorway flyover, after they are evicted from their council house at gunpoint for refusing to pay the hated bedroom tax.
Don’t You Know Who I Am?
8pm BBC1 ★★★★
The popular series in which ghastly Tory snobs David Mellor and Andrew Mitchell travel the country insulting ‘ordinary’ people such as police officers and taxi drivers. With hilarious consequences.
Call The Midwife Christmas Special
9pm BBC1 ★★★★
Unfortunately this episode has been cancelled as a result of the Tories’ callous decision to close down all post- and ante-natal services and privatise the BBC.